I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I party with great urgency now.
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