Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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