you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
