Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
