Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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