So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
