I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
