Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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