You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
