No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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