He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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