Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
