u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
