Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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