remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
