We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
