I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think my moral compass just broke
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
