Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
