So drunk its hurt
I just saw a hot homeless man
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
