Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
