Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
