i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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