Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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