Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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