i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
