Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
