I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
