Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
