Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
