On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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