I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
