In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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