please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
wow bdsm is so cute
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize