I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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