just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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