its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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