Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
