He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
