Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
