Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
