really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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