The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize