Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
