East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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