well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
