She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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