She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is the high leading the old right now
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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