It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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