Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
