What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
please come you make the beer taste better
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We left the knife in your bed.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
