I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
