It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
