That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you had me at cake vodka
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
