I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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