What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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