If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This baby is an asshole
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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