I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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