I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize