The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
