3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
