I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
