I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
