omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
