Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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